Lifting Depression from People through Self-worth

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Jonathan McReynolds' song "People" captures the essence of relationships. His cry to God, "Deliver me from people," is a constant prayer for many. It is no secret that relationships are necessary but challenging. A former principal shared that he and his wife never had any arguments. However, he raged unexpectedly at work, and alcohol soothed his intense emotions. It may not have been that they had a great relationship, but rather a relationship in which one coped with silence as the other coped with alcohol and rage.

God created us for relationships and community. The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone.' I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18). According to the National Library of Medicine, social isolation and loneliness are closely related to depressive symptoms. Depressive symptoms often lead to isolation. The two go hand in hand. But what happens when depression arises from the relationship?

Relationship problems play a significant role in triggering or worsening depression. Relationships thrive from reciprocity, the healthy, mutual exchange of support, care, affection, and a balance of give and take. Each partner feels valued and understood. Each partner focuses on giving of self for the benefit of the other and the relationship. Their behaviors need consistency and persistence. How do you manage when a significant divide permeates your soul? As in Jonathan McReynolds' song, how do you get delivered from people?

Many people devalue themselves after conflicts. Harmful words reverberate in their minds. Triggered, the mind replays past incidents and confirms thoughts of being unloved, neglected, or rejected. Anxiety often increases to protect, beginning the depression and anxiety loop. One way is to learn your value. Your self-value or self-worth refers to the intrinsic belief in one's own worth, independent of external achievements or validation, which impacts confidence and emotional health. Self-worth is unconditional. It does not rely on others' opinions or behaviors. https://positivepsychology.com/self-worth/

Self-worth: Healing from Depression

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Self-worth is understanding that you deserve reciprocity. Reciprocity is a sign of respect. Respectful actions and words guard the relationship and bring value. Self-worth helps create boundaries for your behaviors and actions, allowing others to understand what will be acceptable. Self-worth helps you to create an emotionally safe place. Self-worth guides your actions to love and have compassion for yourself. Valuing yourself creates distance from what or who attempts to devalue you.

Relationships should not be the source of depression. Conflicts may be handled immaturely, leading to sadness. If the relationship is healthy and reciprocates love, support, and validation, the conflict will not override these strengths. However, when the relationship does not reciprocate in healthy ways, it can become the source of depression and the desire to be alone.

God's desire for you is to love others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:39). How you treat others gives a picture of how you should love yourself. What you give to others should be what you give to yourself. If you are constantly supporting others, in what ways are you helping yourself? Are you getting back the love, support, and validation you give? Neglecting yourself will cause depression. Assertive actions, such as setting boundaries, creating a plan for self-love, and maintaining relationships based on reciprocity, can help lift your mood when interpersonal conflicts arise.

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It takes work to be consistent in developing yourself. But you are deserving of it! If you believe that your relationships trigger anxiety and depression, look at how you treat yourself. Practice self-compassion. Focus on a relationship that reciprocates. Be determined to live your life fulfilling your dreams and goals one day at a time. You have everything you need. "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness (2 Peter 1:3). Look within and in Christ.